As hard as it is to admit, I have never thought of myself as beautiful. Even when my husband would say it while staring deeply into my eyes, I did not really truly believe it. I felt that it was just something that husbands have to say. I knew he loved me in those moments but me being beautiful? Ah, maybe. Maybe on a good day when I wore a nice new outfit or when I had managed to keep my acne at bay, but those times where few and far between.
A lot of things made me feel no so beautiful. Women constantly compare themselves to the industry standard of beauty and long to be the object of men’s public affections like Halle Berry, Janet Jackson or Alicia Keys. I am no different. But to not believe the one person who knows me better than anyone, who cried when he saw me coming down the aisle, and who makes it a point to celebrate me every day; now that is something much deeper.
We all say that we believe the cliché that beauty is only skin deep and that real beauty resides within, but most of us say this out loud while feeling much differently in private. We spend tons of money attempting to look the part with new clothes, make-up, and the latest shoes and purse. Would we do that if we really thought that looks did not matter? Now I know a bunch of women right now are thinking, “I buy this stuff for me and I enjoy feeling good about myself”. Well this is not about that. This blog is about knowing within your soul that none of that matters and none of it and I mean none of it makes you beautiful. Marianne Williamson in her book ‘A Woman’s Worth’ has this to say,
” Feminine beauty is not a function of clothes or hair or make-up….Beauty is an internal light, a spiritual radiance that all women have…The woman that is truly self-aware knows that her self is a light from beyond this world, a spiritual essence that has nothing to do with the physical world”
When I read this, it hit me. When my husband tells me I am beautiful, he sees something much beyond my outward appearance. He is seeing all of the wonderful things that make me who I am. He is recognizing my spirit. No matter what I am wearing or what my hair looks like; it is my spirit that demonstrates my true beauty. When someone is out of our physical view for a period of time we remember their spirit, not their shoes. We remember if they were happy or sad, nice or mean, generous or selfish.
It has empowered me to see myself in this way. I am beautiful and so are you if you choose to be.